Creepy Behaviour

Today I talked to my (Temp) Boss about creepy behaviour.

On Tuesday a rather pretty lady came for an interview. She was dressed really well and was lovely to talk to as well. During the course of her interview, no less than 6 of my male coworkers thought it was okay to come and gawk at her. Seriously. She appeared keen to have the job, so my boss was shocked and surprised when she called yesterday to say she'd found something else.

He said it again today, so I decided to enlighten him. She got stared and ogled at by 6 random men who she'd never met before, who shouldn't have been in the interview anyway.

It was a bit creepy.

It was a bit creepy to me, and I only watched it happen. One of the guys went up to the closed door and complained because the door was closed so he couldn't look at her :/

For a company that prides itself on zero tolerance with regards to harassment, that was really really inappropriate. It was so inappropriate that I wouldn't be surprised if the lady in question only pretended she'd taken another job, because she didn't feel comfortable saying that she'd changed her mind because of this.

I made it clear to my boss that if they'd done that to me or one of the other ladies who currently work there, he would have had me (or them) in his office next thing to complain.

Why is this considered okay?

Moderating myself

Sometimes I will write a post, and then sit on it. The previous post was apparently written in January, I only just got around to posting it.

My other blog has two posts written that I haven't posted yet. I'm not sure what I want to review for my first post and the ones I've written are a wee bit snarky, so I worry that someone who decides to read my blog will be rude about it.

I've been seeing a lot of posts About the treatment of women in politics, and also The way that Muslims are treated in the media, especially Muslim Women. I would recommend to not read the comments in the second unless you want to be either angry, or to count how many people did not actually read the article before starting to respond. It is a great illustration of the author's point.

So as a result I censor myself. I try and think objectively how my words can be read. I realise that through my own doing, I have a very small irregular reader base, but it's been illustrated quite well by others that it only takes a moment to go from that to many many people suddenly seeing your work. I'd rather not have anything overly inflammatory if I can help it on my blog.

Still, where can I draw the line? After a while, you stop saying what you're intending to say, if you're too afraid of the theoretical consequences to say it.

Driving

Dear fellow Drivers,

Yes, I know that today we had (as they keep reminding us) the first rain we've had in 60 odd days.

Wet roads are slippery, most of us were driving a little slower than we normally would to allow for this.

So why did you feel the need to engage your suicidal tendencies and drive unsafely and/or speed whilst the rain was pouring down? Have you forgotten how to drive in rain? Do you always drive like an idiot?

These are not rhetorical questions, please take more care. I at least want to arrive safely at my destination.

Thanks,

Julie

Stolen House

Yesterday, whilst on ABC Online, I noticed an article titled Dude Where's My House?. It was a brief article about a landlord going to collect rent (in Malaysia) and finding the house was missing. There wasn't a lot of information, so I went (as you do) to The Star Online.

Landlord homes in on 'missing' house. Same basic story, but in addition, there was a picture of it, and more backstory. Basically, in early February three men arrived at the two story wooden house, removed all the furniture, dismantled it, and took everything away. All that is left is the 24 concrete pillars that used to hold it. The neighbours didn't suspect anything was strange about this so didn't challenge the men as they carried out their task.

:P Only in Malaysia :D Read the Star Article, it's quite good.

Othering at the Northam Meeting.

Just wanted to talk about the coverage re the 1500 people expected to be housed in a centre in Northam.

Watching the ABC, who is reporting on the town meeting.

One guy said "But what about when they jump the fence, steal my car, and rush down to Perth to hide amoung Their Kind"

Their kind? What, people? who are legally in this country - or born in this country? I understand you are upset by not being consulted (although if you were, you would probably have said you didn't want these people because they are queue jumpers and criminals), but you aren't by any chance, showcasing your racism, are you? Using othering and dehumanising terms when saying why you don't want something to happen makes me uncomfortable, because like many others, I am sometimes made to feel "other". I'm half Chinese, I don't look the "same". So when you make broad sweeping statements about asylum seekers, it really frustrates me. I have immigrants in my family tree. Mine came here legally, but when you make comments about "their kind", you kind of lump us all together, people who came through the "correct" channels, and those who had to leave immediately, and not wait for a visa. Many people have immigrants in their family. This is because a lot of people in Australia have at some point, come from another country. Or their parents or grand parents or great grandparents have.

I couldn't help but notice that except for one man hiding behind a sign that looked dark skinned, every person I could see in the shot of the crowd looked white. :( What? There aren't any PoC in Northam? Not even any Aboriginals? Or is it they wouldn't be caught dead at such a function so full of hate?

And I thought the response for the South Australian Institute being built for women and children was unpleasant.

--------

Some links about the meeting.

Local Anger Will Not Stop Detention Centre

will try to find more links later. Unfortunately, I read lots of stuff, but often forget to save them :/

Passing White

I was watching Deadly Deportment on Landline just now. Basically it was about how young Aboriginal women in the area are being taught additional skills in the hope of making them more employable, and giving them the confidence to dress appropriately and do well in whatever job interview they go for. It was a very good program, and it makes me sad that they feel shame over dressing well, and things like that, fearing that they will never be good enough, that they will fail, and it will be worse than never having done anything in the first place.

Some of the women involved (as happens in any mixed group) can "pass" as white. In some ways this is worse than being discriminated against for being different, as many POC experience. The casual racism in Australia is still very rampant and alarming - as anyone who has been asked "What are you?" (not who are you, what) can attest. But it is worse when you can "pass" because, suddenly people are making these horrible comments, not about you, but about people like you, maybe your friends, all because they assume that you are (white) like them. And it takes courage and strength to say to these people, no it's not okay, you can't make those comments about these people, these are my people and you are being rude.

I can't say that I know what it is like to be Aboriginal in this country, for I am not of that descent. But as a half-Chinese person growing up here, living here, it is apparent to me that the discrimination does not go away. When someone makes a rude comment about Chinese people, and then turns to me and says "Oh, not you Julie", or worse, doesn't realise how offensive they have just been, because I don't "count" or "register" to them as Chinese, well, if I don't say anything, then I am shamed. Because I have just passed, and it feels like I have let the side down.

I want to be strong enough to stand up for my beliefs. Always.

never darken my doorstep

I had my name blackened and dragged through the mud by one of those customers today. The kind of person with such an immense sense of entitlement that when other people in Customer Service describe them to you, you honestly think they're joking. She was abusive, she was demanding, she called me names and was so agressive, that I actually refused to talk to her today. My manager said she would talk to her, so I took B at her word; She talked to the customer. I was being "She"'d, I was being "that girl"'d, and I, in the back with my other co-worker K, was really about to go tell the customer off if she used my name like an invective one more time. I have never wanted to smack anyone before. But I honestly did with this woman. Unpleasant is one word.

I suppose the positive of the entire unpleasant experience was, after shouting at my boss after he told her we needed to be paid, she declared that she would never set foot in our shop again. (Also, she did pay. After it was pointed to her that she would not receive her machine back until she paid, and my Boss offered to take her to court over the money.)

I don't think she appreciates how small the Apple repair community in the metro area is. I can think of no more than maybe eight, five of those are warranty centres. So, when she gets herself removed from the other 7... Well. I suppose at that point you have to send your machine away to get repaired. And pay a premium for it.

Normally I would be upset by this kind of thing, as it was uncalled for and rude and really offensive, but to be honest, this woman (and her husband!) is her own worst enemy, and I wish her upon herself.

And may I never set eyes upon her again.

I hate to talk of this

I had an unpleasant encounter this morning at work.

An ex-coworker (and believe me, if he hadn't been an ex-coworker then, he would be now) came in and said something really really rude and threatening to me for me to pass on to another female coworker.

And I just. I don't escalate confrontations. I don't believe in doing that, but if he had been one iota less whatever he was, I would have told him how unacceptable his language and behaviour towards me was.

But I didn't say anything because he was right in my face, and I was really not okay with that.

And now I have a headache and feel really small.


ETA: He called and apologised. Which makes it better but still not okay.

Do you know what this weekend is?

It is (a) frustration weekend. It is a weekend where I will have to drive slowly down two of the main roads that lead to my house, because drunk people will randomly stagger (or run) across the road. Where I will be cut off by buses (and trailers, and god knows what else), and the speed limit will drop down from 70/80 to 20/30kmh. Causing a half hour car ride to turn into a possibly hour long trip.

This is the festival known as Spring in the Valley. Normally, it brings 60,000 visitors to "The Swan Valley" of which I am a resident. However, organisers in their wisdom decided for 2010 to make it a month long event. No consultation of residents, nothing.

Excellent for the local economy, very difficult for the people who have to live here.

So after this weekend, there will be next weekend. And the weekend after. And...

Is it November yet?

The Internet is A Public Place

I'm not sure I approve of facebook. Yeah, I use it (for games!), but there is only one photo of me (and one of my poor short necked giraffe, and an avatar from one of my games), and my personal details are limited.

But I go onto other people's fb pages, and there are so many photos - of them, their kids, where they work, what school they went to, their birthday... It is really worrying that people don't see anything wrong with this.

A lot of people forget that the internet is essentially a public place. It's like inviting people in to your house, into your family.

Many people on the internet don't want to be your friend. Some of them may want to hurt you. To take your identity and commit identity fraud. To contact your children and/or to do a whole raft of dangerous and disturbing things.

So we need to stay alert. No one wants to give you that copy of Adobe CS5 for free - That's a $3000+ piece of software. If they tell you they want to give you one over torrent, it might be a copy... but it will almost certainly have some nasty additions on top of the regular stuff. It sounds pretty terrible, but part of being internet savvy is being suspicious. We've all heard of people meeting someone they met on the internet, and they don't look a thing like their photo. But things can be so much worse.

Someone I know recently had a scare. Their pre-teen, who is old enough to know better, met someone in a chatroom and told them everything. Where he lived, who lived with him, full name, about his family, everything. The person he told it to turned out to be an adult. But the worst thing is, the kid still has no idea why what he did was wrong. He was arranging to meet this man when his parents found out.

I was 12 the year we got the internet. I used chatrooms, but I was a wary child. The second anyone started saying anything appropriate, I blocked/reported them. This was after all, a children's chat room. People didn't know much about the dangers back then, posting full personal details online. But even then, I wasn't one of them. You have to be a conscious user of the internet. You can't just wander around without paying attention to what your doing, who you're talking to, what you're giving away.

I suppose my point is simple - would you tell someone you met down the shops/pub what you're telling the faceless sympathetic ear on the internet? If the answer is no, you probably shouldn't be telling them either.

(This is a bit disjointed. I wrote half of it earlier, so I may rework it tomorrow.)

I am not your

I am not your Lovey, your Darling, your Sweetheart. It's especially inappropriate for you to call me such things in front of your wife and child, and I didn't appreciate it.

When you come into my shop - the one I'm assistant-manager of, attempt to muscle in on my personal space, call me pet names the whole time, and ooze creepiness in my general direction, I will be crossing my arms, failing to smile, and standing as far away from you as possible.

And yes, my female co-worker noted your disturbing behaviour. I only wish I'd managed to tell you how unacceptable it was. Blah. Oh well, next time I will do so. Because I work there, and you have no right to make me feel uncomfortable in my own workplace, and I honestly felt harassed.

(ps. Gentle Old man who sometimes come into the shop calls me a pet name? It's okay. He's of a different generation, and I don't get "the vibe" off him. He talks to all "young" people the same way. Man who is approximately ten years older than me does it? creepy x 10.)