Creepy Behaviour

Today I talked to my (Temp) Boss about creepy behaviour.

On Tuesday a rather pretty lady came for an interview. She was dressed really well and was lovely to talk to as well. During the course of her interview, no less than 6 of my male coworkers thought it was okay to come and gawk at her. Seriously. She appeared keen to have the job, so my boss was shocked and surprised when she called yesterday to say she'd found something else.

He said it again today, so I decided to enlighten him. She got stared and ogled at by 6 random men who she'd never met before, who shouldn't have been in the interview anyway.

It was a bit creepy.

It was a bit creepy to me, and I only watched it happen. One of the guys went up to the closed door and complained because the door was closed so he couldn't look at her :/

For a company that prides itself on zero tolerance with regards to harassment, that was really really inappropriate. It was so inappropriate that I wouldn't be surprised if the lady in question only pretended she'd taken another job, because she didn't feel comfortable saying that she'd changed her mind because of this.

I made it clear to my boss that if they'd done that to me or one of the other ladies who currently work there, he would have had me (or them) in his office next thing to complain.

Why is this considered okay?

Two sides

I've never really found it difficult to reconcile the (mind the sarcasm) "normal Australian Girl" me and Chinese me. Because they are one and the same. I am an Australian and also I am half Chinese. One of my favourite dishes is Chicken Rice (in fact, I ate it today at Tak Chee). I grew up celebrating a number of different things including Chinese New Year and Moon Festival. A lot of things I do without thinking. Like all the superstitious things; not western superstitions, if I believed in those I'd still have bad luck because I've broken that many mirrors it's not funny. But things like not sweeping on the first day of Chinese New Year (because you'll sweep all your luck away. Not wearing black to weddings. Or on my birthday (because wearing black on these occasions is like ill wishing). We have a little mirror hanging outside the house to reflect all the bad luck away as we are at the end of the street (and also I think to trap any bad spirits). I used to have to think about it when I was younger, but now I just do them. And those are only the things I can think of!

And on the other side from all that, is the part of me that likes to eat pies, and anything with potato, and is loud and outspoken, and can't speak Cantonese yet and has a ridiculous amount of shoes.

It's not hard to mix the two because all of it, the superstition, the outspokenness, everything, is me. Some people talk of feeling out of place. To be honest, I feel as much at home in Singapore or Malaysia as I do in Australia. Okay, so Singapore makes me think I really should learn Mandarin, if only so I can understand all the people who assume I must speak it there, but other than that, I am comfortable. I blend in. There are a lot of Eurasians in these places (especially Singapore), and once I've been there a day or two I just fit.

I have experienced racism, people who are rude towards me because I'm Chinese. Or because they don't believe I am. People who are just rude, asking me "what" I am. However as I've got older I've come to the conclusion that people will always be rude. And the most I can do (other than informing them that I don't approve of their behaviour) is ignore them. And carry on being fabulous :D!

Some Blogs I've Been Reading (When I'm Supposed To Be Writing)

I'm struggling with a post at the moment. Probably I'm going to have to wait a week before I look at it again. Who knows, it might not even get revised before I post it. I have however been reading a number of blogs and tumblrs.

The Hairpin: Awesomeness. A general interest blog with an emphasis on women and feminism. Also, hilarity. I exercised yesterday, followed by about four hours of laughing that gave me sore abs today. Just so you know :P

Reasoning with Vampires: One person's attempt to make the Twilight books more palatable :D Her comments are so funny. So are the comments of the people who wish to be offended by her endeavour.

Hoyden About Town: I spend a lot of time here. It's a good space in order to talk about stuff. The links that get posted every few days are also excellent, as they are often things that I find interesting, but would never find myself.

Muslims Wearing Things: Because some people say all Muslims totally dress the same. Actually no, this tumblr reminds people that not all Muslims dress alike.

And yeah, I blogstalk this woman, for no reason other than she is hilarious. Also, she has a very cute baby.

Oh! And Colour Me Katie which I purely visit for all the pretty Photos. It is the Blog of Katie Sokoler who is very interesting and is a freelance photographer (and actress and very creative person).

*

Yesterday I saw a rather racist video from the 1994 Barbie Party where they went to "Australia", and there was an American with a terrible Australian accent wearing what most people probably think of as Steve Irwin clothes and an cork hat, and all the other actors were dancing in bikinis and boardshorts at the "beach". It was awful and painful, and I wish I hadn't watched it. But that was 1994. Supposedly people didn't know much about racism, because Australia (and all other countries that were once racist) lost all their racism years ago, with the abolishment of the very terrible policies. Also, all dancing beach bunnies were fair skinned wiht light hair.

Othering at the Northam Meeting.

Just wanted to talk about the coverage re the 1500 people expected to be housed in a centre in Northam.

Watching the ABC, who is reporting on the town meeting.

One guy said "But what about when they jump the fence, steal my car, and rush down to Perth to hide amoung Their Kind"

Their kind? What, people? who are legally in this country - or born in this country? I understand you are upset by not being consulted (although if you were, you would probably have said you didn't want these people because they are queue jumpers and criminals), but you aren't by any chance, showcasing your racism, are you? Using othering and dehumanising terms when saying why you don't want something to happen makes me uncomfortable, because like many others, I am sometimes made to feel "other". I'm half Chinese, I don't look the "same". So when you make broad sweeping statements about asylum seekers, it really frustrates me. I have immigrants in my family tree. Mine came here legally, but when you make comments about "their kind", you kind of lump us all together, people who came through the "correct" channels, and those who had to leave immediately, and not wait for a visa. Many people have immigrants in their family. This is because a lot of people in Australia have at some point, come from another country. Or their parents or grand parents or great grandparents have.

I couldn't help but notice that except for one man hiding behind a sign that looked dark skinned, every person I could see in the shot of the crowd looked white. :( What? There aren't any PoC in Northam? Not even any Aboriginals? Or is it they wouldn't be caught dead at such a function so full of hate?

And I thought the response for the South Australian Institute being built for women and children was unpleasant.

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Some links about the meeting.

Local Anger Will Not Stop Detention Centre

will try to find more links later. Unfortunately, I read lots of stuff, but often forget to save them :/

Losing your name?

If there is one thing that I don't think I'll ever understand, its why a woman would change her name when she marries.

I used to say it was a Chinese opinion. The majority of Asian women do not adopt their husbands surname, they keep their name, they don't lose it in a bid to look more like a family, or something like that. Personally, I've always thought that even though I plan to keep my name (basically forever), if I ever marry and have kids, I would still be known to other children as Mrs {insert lastname here}. Because that's what kids do. They assume their friends lastname is the name of the parent.

But I can say that it isn't a Chinese thing. Both my grandmothers, my Ah Poh and my Grandma, both kept their maiden names. I find this a little intriguing; not because my Ah Poh did, but because my Australian Grandmother did. She would have been an anomaly among her generation. If my grandmother were alive today, she would probably be in her late eighties, so for someone born at that time...

One thing my mother has regretted for years, is that when she married my dad, she changed her name. Completely changed it, looking at her on paper or talking to her on the phone, you would never guess she's Chinese. She's talking about changing it to something which is a balance of her old and new names. And in a lot of ways I'm pleased. It will be a little strange for her to have a different name than the one I've known my whole life, but at the same time, it's really quite exciting, because if feels like she is reclaiming something she willingly gave away.

One of my friends got married this year, and I was a little aghast that the first question she was asked, the day after her wedding (on facebook) was "Why haven't you changed your name yet???" And I felt like saying, why would you change your name? If it is so important that everyone have the same last name, why shouldn't the husband change his name?

Why must all the sacrifices be on one side?

(And then of course in most households the woman does more housework; even if she works long hours she is still expected to do the lions share of the domestic work, including childcare. Is this what we really want?)

*

A more extensive post on this topic can be found At BitchPHD (by bitchphd). It also discusses fair division of labour in the home and other such issues.

And Here at Hoyden About Town (by bluemilk).

Passing White

I was watching Deadly Deportment on Landline just now. Basically it was about how young Aboriginal women in the area are being taught additional skills in the hope of making them more employable, and giving them the confidence to dress appropriately and do well in whatever job interview they go for. It was a very good program, and it makes me sad that they feel shame over dressing well, and things like that, fearing that they will never be good enough, that they will fail, and it will be worse than never having done anything in the first place.

Some of the women involved (as happens in any mixed group) can "pass" as white. In some ways this is worse than being discriminated against for being different, as many POC experience. The casual racism in Australia is still very rampant and alarming - as anyone who has been asked "What are you?" (not who are you, what) can attest. But it is worse when you can "pass" because, suddenly people are making these horrible comments, not about you, but about people like you, maybe your friends, all because they assume that you are (white) like them. And it takes courage and strength to say to these people, no it's not okay, you can't make those comments about these people, these are my people and you are being rude.

I can't say that I know what it is like to be Aboriginal in this country, for I am not of that descent. But as a half-Chinese person growing up here, living here, it is apparent to me that the discrimination does not go away. When someone makes a rude comment about Chinese people, and then turns to me and says "Oh, not you Julie", or worse, doesn't realise how offensive they have just been, because I don't "count" or "register" to them as Chinese, well, if I don't say anything, then I am shamed. Because I have just passed, and it feels like I have let the side down.

I want to be strong enough to stand up for my beliefs. Always.

Themes of West Side Story

On Thursday night, I left work to go and see West Side Story with my parents and number of their friends.

West Side Story is an excellent musical, the songs were familiar, everyone sang very well, and overall it was enjoyable (although there was a very weird dream sequence with everyone dancing around in white after the intermission which confused a lot of people, myself included.)

But although it was very good (the actors were superb), I still found it a bit problematic and confronting. It's a love story, Romeo and Juliet (if you like) with the background of open racism, killing, police corruption, and (one case of) rape.

I know it is supposed to reflect the time, rampant racism and chauvinism (which of course meant that women of colour got the double whammy) but frankly, if that is what it was like (and I know it wasn't much different here in Australia), I can only be glad I wasn't alive yet. Growing up in the Eighties, in the lingering shadow of the remnants of the White Australia Policy* was uncomfortable. Being called names by the parents of my fellow students, and having said students repeat them is still rather disturbing to me, and so this play was, well quite provocative.

I did enjoy it though, I was surprised by how many of the songs I had heard before. I could almost sing along to most of them.










*Although the policy was fully disbanded in the early 70's, it took a lot longer for the people to follow suit. My Mother, arriving in the country later that decade and being one of two Chinese women in the town she was living in, made her an unusual sight. The other woman was the Doctors wife, and older matronly type that people didn't want to annoy as she ran the reception at his office. People used to come and stare at my mum. People don't like to talk of it, or think of it, but some people do still treat you differently when they talk to you on the phone, and then see you in person and realise you're Chinese (or black, or something other than the fully white person they were expecting after you spoke so beautifully to them on the phone). I've had people recoil when I introduce myself. Not much, because for the most part they can tell I'm Eurasian, but that's it. My Mum still gets it quite regularly. Because obviously a Chinese person must have a Chinese accent. But she doesn't.

I don't generally like

I don't generally like swearing. People tend to use the f-word, and various other swear words at the drop of hat, sometimes literally. I can count the number of times I have used "the usual" swear words on two hands with fingers left over.

But even though I dislike swearing, that doesn't mean that when something terrible happens, or someone is really really wrong, I don't want (or have) words to use.

Some words came from (the Harry Potter) fandom. Words such as T00b, or my favourite, ass-hat. Calling someone an ass-hat, or telling them they are t00berific can be satisfying, although since I started at my current job more than a year ago, another word has been introduced to me.

I learned it from my co-worker K, who when really frustrated with something or someone, and at work will say "You PEANUT!". Peanut, is an excellent thing to shout at someone. It's a non-offensive word that never the less conveys your feelings about them at that particular moment.

Although I still wouldn't use it on customers whilst in hearing distance :P Not even if they well and truly deserved it.

And when I am really annoyed, and want to vent steam, I have a phrase that my mother uses :D I won't try to write it, as I'll spell it wrong. But it is really really effective. <3

On Saturday we get to vote.

The Election is on Saturday. I recommend reading this Infograph to dispel misinformation. Read it all the way through.

I got the latest information from my local federal government representative today (Liberal). I read it, the messages sounded good, it was filled with smiling people who looked happy.

One problem; I read it, I looked at all the pictures and... there was not one person who looked like me. Everyone was white. There were no aboriginals (or people with dark skin), there were no asians. There weren't even any eurasians (and of course there are lots of us). But of course there weren't! I can't explain the lack of indigenous Australians (other than an over-sight), but of course they can't have asians, they've been harping on about "keeping out the boats" for months! Guess what the faces of the "boat people" look like?

To be honest, it doesn't make me feel comfortable at all when I hear any of the political parties trying to get people on-side by bagging boat people. Because when I was a child in the 80's, and people were more overt with their racism, I used to get told to "go home". Which is a bit difficult as Australia has always been home to me. What with being born here and everything.

Way to make a girl feel alienated in her own country.

Make your vote count on Saturday.

The results of Bullying.

Earlier this month a boy took a loaded gun to school (in Esperence) in response to being bullied. He was suspended, arrested, and police initially refused to release him on bail. He's being prosecuted, it's possible that he won't be allowed to return to school (which he might not want to do either), and it also will probably make it harder for him to change schools.

He was wrong, violence is never the answer, and this shouldn't have happened, but;

Here's a question; Why aren't we hearing about what is happening to the kids who bullied him so badly that he felt the need to bring a weapon to school to defend himself?

A lot of children are bullied, some quite severely. And speaking from experience, often the response of authority figures (including teachers) is quite often very lacking. Personally, after three years of being bullied by a boy from my Primary School, when he tried it in High School, he got whacked with Here Be Dragons (roughly a thousand pages). It was a paperback though. I'm not cruel, I didn't use the hardcover. When I took my issues (in Primary School) to my teacher, I got no help. When I went to his teacher, I was told she would turn a blind eye if I chose to retaliate.

The really annoying thing is, had I gone to our Principal, when it first started in year 5, it would have been sorted. Or if I'd told my Mum (my Mum is very awesome), I know she would have done everything to help me. But for reasons unknown, I didn't, and just took it until explosion point (I'm a bottler, I know I'm a bottler. But as I've got older, I know it's important to say what I really mean. I've learned how to say this in a tactful way, for work, but still, you need to stand up for yourself in a positive way.)

I suppose my point is; to kids who are bullied: Go talk to an authority figure you trust, who can stand up for you and be your advocate. Kids are incredibly cruel; whether because you have red hair, you happen to be a minority in your school (like I was), or just because. And to adults: It is not cool to turn a blind eye to a child who is being bullied. Kids who are bullied can turn into bullies themselves, can do things like the above story, or they could you know get help from you and sort their problems out.

Bullying is wrong.